It's a beautiful day, and we're out killing drug dealers...

Greatest Songs Ever: Hearts Burst Into Fire

2010-02-03T09:57:00.000-05:00

It's time to get uber-cheesy, folks. The song "Hearts Burst Into Fire" by Bullet For My Valentine is a song about being close to someone no matter how great the physical distance may be between you.

I'm comin' home
I've been gone for far too long
Do you remember me at all?

It hurts
Wounds so sore
Now I'm torn; now I'm torn...
Cheesy? You bet, but combined with the chugging guitar riff and occasionally sprinkled with some upbeat double-bass work, this song is all kinds of awesome. If you like metal in the least, you owe it to yourself to check this one out.

RTOTD: What's in a Name? Bad-Ass Edition*

2010-01-15T09:55:00.001-05:00

*Random Thought Of The Day is a collection of [obviously] random thoughts that I wish to bestow upon you, the inevitably Facepalming Public.

I'm here today to talk about something very important to me: Giving bad-ass names to all the children of the world. Case in point:

Wolf Blitzer

Does this guy look like a twat? Absolutely. Do you think maybe such a name could've been given to someone who exudes more bad-assery than this? You bet. But think about it. The phonetics of the name, paired with the obvious meaning behind the words, could make for a seriously bad-ass kid name, depending on how you raise your kid. "Wolf" by itself is fearsome enough, but add something like "Blitzer" to the mix? Whoa, hold up, people. That's almost too much Bad-Ass for me.

I think if I were to have a son I'd name him Wolf Thunderbolt Ellis. Oh, you don't think so?? Well, too bad, it's not your kid to name! This kid would be named after my two favorite arcade-based Operations:

To best suit the name, I'd ensure that the kid grew up with harsh training so that he'd be able to eat lightning and crap thunder.

A New Rotation...

2010-01-04T10:24:00.000-05:00

Late Happy New Year, everyone!

If you haven't checked out a great set of resolutions, check out my friend Jaime's blog for a great video listing. Just wanted to share a few resolutions with you all for posterity's sake.

1. Destroy Credit Card Debt. I'm down to a few G's at this point, and it will be so nice to finally get that out of the way. Maybe then I can finally afford the truck I've been wanting...or just pay off the motorcycle. :)

2. Learn More. Although I have crammed a lot of things into this already-swollen head of mine, I'm going to strive this year to get some certifications and learn more that I could apply in my day-to-day life...going to learn even more about engines, more about science (pretty broad generalization, I know), more about servers, more about workstations, more about virtualization...MOAR!!!!

3. Let It Go. With the slights each new year brings, I learn more and more that you can't afford to hold onto your anger or resentment...remember the lessons learned, know when to [politely] tell people to go fuck themselves; remember that just because opinions differ it doesn't necessarily make anyone "better" or "worse" than you. A good friend of mine almost died in a motorcycle accident this year, and when I thought he was going to die, all I could think of was how much he has made me and my family and friends smile and laugh. That's how I want to be remembered. Much to our delight, my friend has survived and recovered completely, so we can now expect many more years of laughter and good times. Hold on to the good, retain the lessons learned, and let go of the bad.

So there you have it, folks. Would anyone else like to share their resolutions with the class?

The Will

2009-12-03T13:50:00.000-05:00

This is just a collection of thoughts that I wanted to write down, so if you're reading this and starting to worry...don't. I just wanted to get these thoughts out there, writing can be quite cathartic. Call it "Creative Release", if you'd like.

Do you know why I come to you today, World?

I am just one young man, and although Hope still lives on in my soul, I am finally realizing my own limitations. I have tried for years to maintain connections, do good works, and ensure that others enjoy their lives.

That time is over.

I have realized more now than ever that the only sure-fire recipe is the recipe for failure...to try and please everyone. For over two decades now I've tried to be everyone's friend, everyone's confidant; everyone's most trusted adviser. No more. My life has been spent giving much in the name of scarce returns; I'm ready to start reaping for myself.

This decision does not come lightly, as I imagine many of you out there will probably come to be against me in the long run. This is not something new to me...my life, like many others', has known plenty of betrayals. For years, these betrayals were viewed in black-and-white terms. What I failed to see is the truth conveyed in betrayal, the proof of who your real friends are. If you are still there for me, then know that my love, loyalty and respect for you are tenfold.

I have loved you all at some point or another, even if only from afar. My greatest dream was to serve others and live well, but I now realize that as one man I can not have it all; as my life passes me by I have missed out on entirely too much. Sacrifices will have to be made in the name of progress, and the death of an Innocent's dream will be hard to swallow, but such is the price for living life to its fullest extent.

So to you, World, I say thanks for the good times...and I pray that for each of us there are even more good times ahead, but this will be the last time many of you will hear from me. No, I'm not dead; if you want it enough, you can get in touch with me. Just know that as this new chapter in Life opens, I approach it with a sense of hope for each of us...may we grow and love together; if not, I wish you all the best.

God grant me strength now, as I move forward in time to take hold of that which has eluded me for years...

FACEPALM: City of Wellford

2009-10-09T08:40:00.002-04:00

Chris Cato interviews Wellford Mayor Sallie Peake

'Nuff said.

Well, maybe not quite enough. I present to you the Sheriff presiding over Wellford, Sheriff Gonna Getcha:

Embarrassing

2009-10-09T07:49:00.001-04:00

So apparently Barack Obama has won the Nobel Peace Prize...for things he has yet to accomplish. Normally I don't care to harp on about Obama too much, but this is...too much. How can someone win such a prestigious award for something they haven't even done? I know that a person's image counts for a lot in this world, but isn't America (and the rest of the world, for that matter) at least slightly awake to the fact that for his first year in office, Obama has accomplished pretty much nothing? Sure he's put on a good show of it, but this is insane...therefore, I am officially throwing my hat in the race for the next Nobel Peace Prize for things someone has yet to do...my category will be Dragon-Slaying. Hopefully I will be running against such respectful candidates as Al Gore, who might stop global warming. Perhaps Jimmy Carter, who might have been useful in some form of negotiation at some time, should run again?

You know what? Fuck the Nobel Peace Prize...history speaks for itself.

Greatest Songs Ever: (Segue) Helpless

2009-10-07T15:09:00.000-04:00

In the months (and hopefully years) to come, I'd like to share with you all some of my all-time favorite songs. Anyone who knows me well knows that I have always loved music...sometimes to an unhealthy degree. This week's song is "(Segue) Helpless" by Buckcherry. Even if you're not a fan of their songs involving cocaine and blowjobs, you have to appreciate the heartfelt quality of this song. It's a song about loneliness and the will to carry on and keep seeking something better.

Fell out of love this time again
Can't stand one more fight, I'm too tired and crazy
I know someday I will be strong again
Forget what they're sayin', to the Heartbreak Station I'm gone

If this song speaks to anyone, it speaks to those who've spent long periods of time unattached to any specific person. Singularity can be a gift and a curse, as those around you who have someone are always trying to set you on the same path as them, or ridicule you for not being on said path. I used to play this one over the sound system after-hours at the restaurant where I worked during my first year of college. It was a good wind-down song, and yet the energetic way in which the narrator pushes on always gave me a bit of a boost.

Video Games: Enemy or Antidote?

2009-09-29T08:26:00.000-04:00

My e-buddy Kat has inspired me to do a little writing on the topic of something that's been very dear to me since a tender young age: Video Games. Some of you who know me are probably rolling your eyes right about now, but this is meant to be at the very least a semi-serious discussion on the topic. So, without further ado...

Games were very important to me at a young age, though it took almost 20 years for me to realize why they were so crucial. I realized when moving out of my hometown that video games helped open my eyes to a perspective beyond the horizons of small-town life. Don't get me wrong, I love my upbringing, and for the most part I wouldn't change it for the world. Living simply taught me how to appreciate life in all its vastness, from the smallest miracles to the greatest wonders. For me, games were a springboard to possibilities far beyond the world I knew. Many people I grew up around never left that town; most of them settled for a wife/kids/monotonous job. By no means do I look down on this, as everyone finds their definition of "Happiness" to be a bit different. Games helped my imagination to grow...my mind was opened to vast horizons beyond A-town, and thus, I was addicted to them. As a matter of fact, my parents took them away from me so that I would go outside more. This helped to bring balance to my real and virtual lives, and would prove beneficial later on down the road.

As I left my little town to enter the Wide World of College, at first I found myself strangely detached from gaming. The last systems I had owned before leaving town were a Dreamcast (sigh) and a PS2 (the original hefty console of its generation). Moving out, I decided not to take these relics with me, but a friend of mine suggested I try playing the new system he had just purchased...it was called an "Xbox", and the first game he bought with the console was a shooter called "Halo: Combat Evolved". Needless to say, after one co-op playthrough I was hooked. Many nights' studies began to take a backseat to crushing The Covenant, and eventually, the Flood itself. Friends would drop by for 4-player splitscreen matches (which I was a bit well-trained for by then) and we would have a blast discussing crucial moments in our couch-based melee'. One of the best Multiplayer moments was splitting screens with Nate and Won at the old 605 apartment downtown, playing Medal of Honor: Rising Sun and using only 1-shot silenced pistols on a map comprised of a baseball field with tunnels dug out underneath. Pfft!

Eventually I finished college (5-years for a 4-year degree, FTW), and here I am today: Doing a job I never expected/planned for and loving it, owning a house/car/motorcycle, paying bills like a regular joe, and still feeding my gaming habits when the finances allow. My last big expense was Batman: Arkham Asylum, which effectively ate about 12 hours out of one weekend (a testament to its awesomeness). The point of all this?? Oh, right...the point: I honestly don't think I would be where I am today without the boost to my imagination provided by video games. Books were a large part of my learning processes growing up, but video games painted vivid imagery that fed my mind even further. Not only that, but they taught me to never give up, even when it turned out my Princess was in another castle. They can be addictive, and make no mistake, you need to go outside and make friends and enjoy the many other facets of life...they can be your productivity levels' worst enemy, or they can be the antidote to monotony. If you don't believe they can be a good medium for entertainment and productivity, check them out for yourself.

Slim Chance, Big Reward

2009-08-31T10:59:00.000-04:00

Geek Moment: I sold my PS3 Fatty this weekend to Big Kev and Marcy, and used the proceeds to get a PS3 Slim. Honestly, I couldn't be more happy with my little low-noise, lower-power machine. It's small enough to finally fit underneath my entertainment center with the 360, so I'll finally be able to clear all the extra shit off of the top of my measly tabletop center, except of course the TV/center channel speaker. I love my new slim, it's so quiet whilst playing Arkham Asylum, which helps since I want to hear the game's atmospheric audio and not the sound of the disc spinning in the drive. Now to get that 40" LCDTV to play it on, because 32" is so 2006.

Main Title

2009-08-19T09:31:00.000-04:00

I suppose for some, I should elaborate on where this blog's title came from. If you know me, you know I'm a fan of old Schwarzenegger movies...not a fan of the man himself, but the attitude his movies exuded during the 80's and 90's. One of my favorites (for its comedic bent, actually) is Last Action Hero. Included here is the clip from which the world famous line originated (you may need to go full-screen to get the full effect):

iLate

2009-08-04T12:48:00.000-04:00

I'm a bit late to the party when it comes to the absolute freshest tech (usually it's too expensive for me to take the plunge), but in about a month I'll finally be getting an iPhone! Thank you, tech-requisite job position! Don't be jealous, people...well, okay...you can be just a little jealous. I would be jealous, too. :-)

A pre-emptive and heartfelt farewell goes out to my Samsung Rugby...you've been a great companion, but you have no Magic 8-Ball app. You will still have a place in my heart (and in my desk drawer, top right).

Are You Ready?

2009-07-29T12:58:00.000-04:00

In the event of a disaster, a lack of preparedness has always been the leading cause of loss of life/sanity. It is with that in mind that I present you all with a list of necessary items in the event of a disaster, along with a short breakdown for each item/group.

#1: Food Rations
I'm going to assume you all know what "rations" means--okay, nevermind, I won't assume--it means "Shares determined especially by supply". I recommend MRE's (Meals Ready to Eat) and FRH (Flameless Ration Heaters). The meals are high in protein and all of the other goods you need to carry on in tough circumstances, and along with the FRH's they have a shelf life of roughly five years.

#2: Water
"But I can get water from a creek." Yes, that is true...now, do you know where all creeks in every area you visit are located? Say the disaster in question is a raging forest fire, and most local bodies of water have been exhausted by the heat (or by the authorities using them to quell the fires). Then say that the disaster in question occurs in the area you're visiting while on vacation. You say you don't know the area that well? Thought not. One more thing to consider is that drinking from a creek exposes your inner workings to all sorts of wonderful microbes and parasites that your filtered home water does not. Had you lived outdoors drinking from creeks all your life, perhaps you would have an immunity to such things...buuuuut since you likely have not, let's continue. If you cannot carry large supplies of water with you and your loved ones due to weight, consider water purification tablets. Each 600 milligram tablet provides 1.4% available chlorine, and enough flocculating agent for the clarification and disinfection of 1 L (1.10 qts)of water from polluted sources at temperatures of 77 degrees F (25 degrees C). Otherwise, consider boiling your water, which is the most effective (though not always time-sensitive) method. According to the Wilderness Medical Society, water temperatures above 160° F (70° C) kill all pathogens within 30 minutes and above 185° F (85° C) within a few minutes. So in the time it takes for the water to reach the boiling point (212° F or 100° C) from 160° F (70° C), all pathogens will be killed, even at high altitude. To be extra safe, let the water boil rapidly for one minute, especially at higher altitudes since water boils at a lower temperature.

#3: Firestarter
At some point, you're going to need something to start fires with, whether for the purpose of preparing food, or warmth, or for signaling help, or protection from predators (or all of the above). As such, you should know of at least a few methods of starting fires ("striking a match" does not count). For the impatient human being in all of us (myself included), I recommend Swedish Fire Steel. Remember to clear away the turf on the spot you're using (preferably a level one), and try to surround the fire area with stones. Try to position the firewood so that the smaller pieces form a "cone" of sorts around a larger central piece of wood. Always remember to completely extinguish a fire when you're done. It's bad enough that a disaster has occured; there's no sense in being irresponsible.

#4: Hatchet
A hatchet will be necessary to chop up kindling/cut small sections of wood for your campfire. In addition to this use, hatchets are also useful for cutting through the bone and/or cartilage of any wild game you may have to hunt during a disaster scenario. Because of its small size, a hatchet can be used as a weapon with almost the same dexterity as a knife. Keep in mind that hatchets are not meant to be used as tree-choppers...only smaller wood should be cut with the hatchet to avoid dulling the blade.

SOG Tactical Tomahawk/Hatchet.

#5: Knife
It's been said since long before I was born that in many situations, a good knife will carry you through a tough spot (I concur). Though I imagine the old timers weren't referring to gun fights or anything outlandish of the sort, they were most definitely referring to survival situations. A good knife can be used for basic cutting of rope and cord, rationing of food, cleaning wild game, starting fires, and of course basic self-defense. I'd recommend two knife types: one folding knife and one fixed-blade knife, preferably each with a finished blade to resist rust and corrosion. For the folding knife, I would suggest a Smith & Wesson ExtremeOps folder. Sure it sounds overly gay, but the price is very reasonable, the knife is durable, and the ones I've owned come sharpened well, right out of the box. For a fixed-blade knife I'd recommend a Gerber Prodigy Survival/Combat knife. It's made of high-carbon stainless steel (that means it's really tough to break or chip) and comes with a dandy sheath that is flexible enough to be attached to you in many different places/positions. I prefer the straight leg sheathing method.

#6: Portable Shelter
If you want to keep from getting sick due to being soaked with freezing rain, or you simply wish to keep the bugs off of you at night, I recommend a tent. Many of you will be saying "duh" by this point, but you'd be surprised at the things one can forget to grab in an emergency. Don't forget a good thick sleeping bag, as well. If it's made of a thick-but-soft-enough material, the sleeping bag will not only keep you warm, but will keep your back from being too terribly sore in the morning...and you will be needing your back.

#7. Gun
Some of you out there may be squeamish about guns, and for good reason...in the wrong hands, they are dangerous. However, in the hands of a trained shooter, a gun can bring food to your table (wild game) and peace of mind (obvious defensive uses) to you and your fellow survivors. If you think you can hack surviving a tough time without a gun, by all means proceed forth unarmed. I myself would rather have one and not need it, than to need it and not have it. For basic defense, I'd recommend a pistol; preference of type (semi-auto, double-action, single-action) is up to the person carrying. For hunting, I would recommend a light rifle with iron sights or a scope. An excellent scoped rifle is the Remington 700. It's not too heavy, not too long, and can be used for medium-long range shots with great effect. For defense, I myself utilize a Springfield XD in .45ACP or a Ruger SP-101 in .357 magnum.

#8: Rope
"But we won't be climbing much"...sorry kids, but rope has TONS of uses beyond the obvious. You can lash tents together during a storm for added stability, use it to help brace/splint broken bones, make a clothesline from it to dry clothing after a wash/rain, and can lash together firewood to carry more of it with you as you go. Just remember to try and keep your rope as dry as possible, and to check its tension before lifting heavy loads/climbing with it. A rotted spot in your rope needs to be cut out as soon as possible. A rope, much like a chain, is only as strong as its weakest link.

#9. Compass/Map
This would seem like a no-brainer, but as stated earlier, so much can happen so fast that people often forget the most seemingly basic items in the event of an emergency. A good lensatic compass and (if you're lucky enough) a good map of the area can mean the difference between a 5-mile hike towards assistance or a 40-mile round-hike towards assistance. Utilizing these items properly is nowhere near as easy as it seems, so prior training with them would be most helpful.

Of course, this list doesn't comprise everything you'd need in a do-or-die situation, but they form a solid foundation of the things you should not be without. Combine the tools with the know-how and mental/physical grit, and you should be able to survive in troubled times no matter the situation.*

*The author is by no means a noted survivalist, and assumes no liability for misuse of said items/tactics.

Project 365: Package Inspection

2009-07-23T08:27:00.000-04:00

As dirty as this could be construed, the late(st) photo taken for Project 365 is of, you guessed it, one of my cats. I know this is a tired subject for some, but animals always make me smile and laugh, a bit more than people do...perhaps this should worry me a bit, but oh well...I love 'em anyway. Here we see Danny Boy inspecting my latest shipment from Amazon. Cats are hilarious...you buy a new toy; they'll play with the box for hours.

Get Serious

2009-07-21T08:22:00.000-04:00

Lately I've been ramping up to get into serious shape...and no, I don't mean to be "shapes", but in shape. As in "Damn, I look good". Sounds conceited, I know...but I've been doing the lazy thing long enough now to know that it takes you exactly where you direct yourself...nowhere. I've gotten back into bicycle-riding (I would say "cycling", but I'm not quite on the Tour de France yet), hiking, and maybe soon I'll even work my way back into swimming...but let's not get too ahead of ourselves. For the moment, let's step back and say a prayer that my poor, pale body can get back into the shape it was meant to be: 215 lbs of twisted steel and sex appeal...yeahhhhhhh...*

*In all seriousness, I need to get back in shape because no one's going to be around in the long haul to look after me if something happens...at least no one I can predict. Wish me luck! Or rather, wish me MOTIVATION!!!!

Solitude

2009-07-17T12:30:00.000-04:00

“To fall in love is easy, even to remain in it is not difficult; our human loneliness is cause enough. But it is a hard quest worth making to find a comrade through whose steady presence one becomes steadily the person one desires to be.”
-Anna Louise Strong

This goes out to my friends who may not understand why I have enjoyed "flying solo" all these years. So many people ask if I've found that "special someone" or where I stand on the inevitable requirements of dating/marriage/children. I never mean to seem condescending when speaking of the subjects mentioned above, but when you are asked the same questions so many times, said subjects tend to become a bit irritating. So to those of you who may ask why I have so far lived such a "lonely" existence, I will tell you: Truth. Truth and Freedom.

The pursuit of Truth has always been an important lifelong journey for me these 26 (almost 27, wow) years. Not so much some philosophically-lofty-college-kid-finds-himself journey, but more a desire to strip things down to their smallest parts and to understand everything around me as purely as possible. While most people my age are out drinking, laughing, being silly, and meeting new people (all of which are nothing to sneeze at; believe me when I say that everyone should experience these things), I like to read, learn, watch and accomplish new/different things. Does that mean I look down on people who do spend their time out eating/drinking/being merry? Not at all, save for one concept; every judgment in my mind comes down to this concept: Why do we do these things? We are all selfish beings; it's part of being human, part of our survival instinct. However, I believe that we should all strive to become better human beings; to serve someone/something besides ourselves. In my opinion, if your entire existence is lived just to serve yourself, then you are a leech. I know some people who are at this point in life, and I truly pity them and hope they will rise above that notion at some point in time, but I also believe it's not my place to preach (considering that I haven't exactly reached a plateau of perfection myself). If we can strip everything in life down to its smallest parts, I truly believe we can lead a life not only gratifying, but full of purpose.

Freedom is defined by Merriam-Webster's Dictionary as the "absence of necessity, coercion, or constraint in choice or action". It is this definition I believe best defines my viewpoint on the concept. Despite my outlook on Life as a constant Cause-and-Effect scenario, I do recognize that each of us has a choice in what we do. Our lives are our own to command, and that very freedome is what I wish to preserve. I do not wish my life's decisions to be driven by loneliness or by avarice or hatred...I wish for my heart and mind to make a mostly-unified decision in almost everything I do. Is it so terrible a thing to wish for this level of self-control in life? I think not. I suppose my point here is that I'm not ready for the compromise required to enter into any sort of "serious" relationship, and from what I've met, neither are many of the women in my generation. We all have a lot of growing up to do (it never stops, from what I gather), and right now I cherish my freedoms more than any warm spot in the bed next to me.

In closing, let me just say that for all my friends and family and anyone else who has found that wonderful someone, I am truly happy for you; I mean that from the bottom of my heart. Right now I'm just not ready to rush into something lifelong unless I feel and think it's right. Freedom, Truth, Patience, Grace, Laughter, and Solitude.

"I hold this to be the highest task for a bond between two people: that each protects the solitude of the other."
-Rainer Maria Rilke

Someone's Always Got it Worse

2009-07-16T08:35:00.000-04:00

This is just a friendly reminder to everyone out there who thinks that their life royally sucks: Someone's always got it worse. There, I said it...no clever insertion of the title into the main body of text just when you'd forgotten it, no witty banter, just fact. Someone has always got it worse than you.

Let me break this down into a hierarchy that everyone can understand; see if you find where I fit in, and then think about where you stand:

1. Little rich kid says his/her life is boring. He/she never does anything fun, but has taken trips this year to multiple states across the nation as well as some trips out of the country, and has not had to live life check-to-check thus far. Yep, life is rough.

2. Little Middle-Class kid says his/her life is boring. He/she never gets to go anywhere the rich kid does; and only seems to have his/her health and lives paycheck-to-paycheck. He/she has a good record so far as the law is concerned, and doesn't have to spend much time worrying about security.

3. Little Third-World Refugee says his/her life is Hell on Earth. He/She has to scavenge for food since Warlords took the rest of it, all the while avoiding being captured/tortured/raped/murdered by someone whose ideology happens to be different from his/hers.

Wow, such suffering (and I sincerely mean that regarding #3, even if you can smell my sarcasm for #'s 1 and 2 from a mile away). We have SO MUCH to be thankful for, but our society has given us such opulence that we scarcely know what our lives are worth. Step back; take a breather...meditate on what you have...meditate on what others do not have that you do...realize how infinitely wonderful your life is just to have an internet connection to be able to read this! See? It's not so bad now, is it?

It's a Beautiful Thing

2009-04-28T09:52:00.000-04:00

"I just love it when a plan comes together."

For those of you who don't know (which would probably be most of you), my friends Nathan and Jenny are getting married May 9th in Louisville, KY, and I've been lucky enough to be asked to be a Groomsman. I won't go into too much of a rant here, but let me just say a few things about my boy Nate: He's one of the very few people on Earth who understands and appreciates the way I view life, and one of the best roommates I could've ever landed. He's a guy who'd sacrifice everything for his friends, and makes every effort to be there for others in spite of himself. So to every girl that's "dropped the ball" when it comes to Nate: You obviously didn't appreciate what you had.

And to the one girl who truly realized what she had?

Proud of ya, Love. :-)

Project 365 4/23/2009: Desperate Catch-Up Edition

2009-04-23T11:00:00.000-04:00

Sorry Internets, it's been too long since I last posted any photos, so here are some fresh faces:

The first photo is of my little visitor, who was sleeping at the back of my yard two Sunday's ago:

The little booger came back this past weekend and ate some leftover grilled chicken from Chili's, and has since then moved in to the bushes in front of my house...mind you, I haven't helped things by feeding it cat food daily, but the poor little monkey needs to gain some weight.

Next up is a caterpillar shot, taken on Monday evening outside of Unnamed Kitty's home, the bushes next to my front walk. It sort of reminds me of life...a slow climb to the top, followed by the phrase "Now what?!" if you happen to reach it.

One moment...

2009-04-22T20:04:00.000-04:00

Today was a productive day: Got my car serviced (huh hut...I said "serviced"), got fitted for my tux (Nate can wipe that bead of sweat off his brow, since now I won't show up at his wedding dressed like Dumb and Dumber), and got many around-the-house things done; even did some dog-sitting for a friend.

All that being said, I saw the face of someone I had a MAJOR thing for last year, and it pissed me off to no end...and I can't really figure out why, except to say that I'm probably just upset by being reminded that I wasted so much time worrying about what this girl thought about me. I don't hold any major ill will towards her...well, maybe a little (and I'm not proud of that), and I really do hope she's doing well, but DAMN...those feelings don't go away easily, and it's made all the more ironic by the fact that another friend of mine experienced THE EXACT SAME THING earlier today...I told him to let it go, but I suppose this is just my humbling moment telling me not to act like things of that nature don't affect me.

Part of me hopes that she has matured a lot over the last year and that she prospers with time, and the other part of me hopes she f*cks off and ends up walking the same path she was headed on and becomes a strung-out piece of trash...which is really a terrible thing to say; it's something the "Old Brad" would have spouted forth from his hate-filled gullet in an instant...quite frankly, it's childish. That person I was is someone I wish to be no more, and I suppose that is why the whole situation pissed me off so much. I suppose if you can take anything from this rant of mine, it's that no matter who we are or where we come from, one thing binds us all; makes us all alike: Pain. And no matter who you are, or where you come from, only one thing can bring you peace: Hope. Hope for a better day, a better pairing, or even just a better set of circumstances. Tonight when I look in the mirror before hitting the sack, I need to say a little prayer that the feelings I felt earlier will go away much more quickly this time, and I will reiterate my vow to let such feelings fall by the wayside...may she prosper and be happy through all of her days...the twat.

Whoops.

Fear, My Old Friend...

2009-03-05T09:41:00.000-05:00

Something hit me when I was out riding around my neighborhood, two things, actually:

1. I need to work more on my cornering.
2. The importance of Fear.

Since Item Number One may not mean that much to some of you, I'll briefly explain: My motorcycle is a 749cc Honda Shadow. It's a motorcycle type known as a "Cruiser", in that it's not built for top speeds and turn-on-a-dime handling...rather it is mean for nice, long stretches of road, for a nice cruise. It is by no means the most powerful bike on the road, and for many it's considered a pansy bike since it isn't a Harley/doesn't rate past 1,000cc...for me, it's a starter bike (I couldn't even afford a heavily-used Harley). My last experiences riding any kind of motor-powered cycles were friends' dirtbikes in high school.

Back to the story at hand: I made a turn in my neighborhood last night that was very tight (strange little corner of the neighborhood), and in doing so I was glad that traffic in my neighborhood is quite light, because in being even slightly on the throttle during the turn, the bike kind of makes a wide-arc turn unless you're into intense leaning (something these Cruisers were not necessarily designed for...it can literally slide out from under you). In retrospect, I should have just coasted through the turn without maintaining that speed, leaned enough for a tighter turn and come out downshifted properly. It hit me immediately after this turn that if a car had been coming swiftly in the left lane with little room for stopping, my ass would have been grass, my good friend Dan has noted my bad turning habits when he got the chance to ride with me last week. This interconnects with Item Number 2 because it's something that I still feel a little bit of whenever I start out on that bike: Fear.

For ages, people of the world have scoffed at fear publicly, but secretly we all have our own. Whether you fear your own mortality, the revelation of a hidden truth about yourself, or even something that people consider as seemingly mundane as spiders, we all feel it. For most of my years growing up in Abbeville, I lived with a crushing fear of social interaction...for some reason, my mind seemed switch to "Remain Quiet/Unseen" with no way to toggle that setting off. It took a few very close friends (a lot of this credit goes to my friend Jason Barks and to the Band program, especially Thomas Khoe) to help me see how much fun life can be if you just get out there and do things. Through some socially active college programs I came out of my shell even more, and ever since I've been pushing the boundaries of my own fears...not out of courage, but rather out of a loathing for laziness.

We all feel it, and we all secretly hate the fears we have; the things that keep us from achieving what we consider to be "the unreachable potential" of our lives. But I say that being truly "fearless" means not realizing the weight of life and the world around us. Fear is an instinctive mechanism built into our psyches since the first of us trudged out of the primordial ooze (or wherever we came from). It's what tells us to look both ways before crossing the street, or to slow down before that tight turn...it's what protects American Soldiers fighting abroad and makes them proceed into danger very cautiously...yes, you could say it's their training taking over, but I say that part of it is the fear, that little voice inside born from the knowledge of a million possible outcomes. I still say that all Armed Service members are the most fearless of us all--despite the knowledge of impending danger, they still take the job--but even they feel fear.

So what's the point of this rant? I suppose it's mainly to say that, no, fear should never be what drives you, but don't be afraid to listen to that little voice in certain situations...it may just save your life, your love, or even your very soul. Don't let fear be your boss, but know when to allow your instincts to take over...it can help you later to move on in life. Respect your fear...it's part of who we are.

Project 365 2/23/2009: Santa's Little Helpers

2009-02-23T09:35:00.000-05:00

Addie "helps" with the towels:

Danny Boy "helps" with the cooking:

Project 365: Busy Bee

2009-02-16T13:23:00.000-05:00

Okay, so I haven't felt like blogging much lately...things have been busy with work and with life...on top of new special projects being added to my plate at work, I've also been trying to steer the course of my life in a more positive, healthy direction (and also maybe buy a motorcycle along the way). But here's a photo to fill the Project 365 void anyway:

This is me and my friend Geoff hangin' out at our mutual compadres the Hernandez' home on Super Bowl Sunday. It's a tad old, and I was by no means looking my best, but it's all I've got for now. When there's more to post here, I'll be glad to...in the meantime, feast your eyes on the...erm, feast laid out before us. 'Twas a great night with great friends t'be sure, Cap'n.

Project 365: 1/20/2009: Duster

2009-01-20T14:42:00.000-05:00

Here's my backyard this morning, lightly dusted. The snow was welcome, although it's funny because it shows me what a selfish shit I can be at times...the first thing I asked at work the other day was "If it snows, do we get a day off?". I suppose being alive, i.e., able to enjoy the snow was not enough for me...so this morning I woke up and took a few photos of our little snow day here in Lexington to help me appreciate more of the "little things" in life:

Project 365: 1/15/2009: Hard-Knock Life

2009-01-15T08:31:00.000-05:00

Here you see my cat Danny Boy, lying on the living room floor in one of his most pitiful-looking positions, trying so hard to deal with the everyday struggles of being a cat...the sleep, the eating, the playing; the...sleep again, etc...

It's a rough life to be sure, Cap'n...but I think he'll manage. After all, with a rough average of 18 hours' sleep per day, I think we could all muster the stamina required to ask so much from so little a creature.

Danny Boy was rescued from the Greenwood Humane Society about 5 years ago, and he's been like my shadow ever since; sometimes to a fault: He loves to walk up behind you and trip you up while you're cooking. All the same, he's one of the most loyal creatures on earth, and even after I get pissed at him sometimes, he always comes back to show me love. Loyalty like that is something you can't buy.

Project 365: 1/12/2009: Shed Your Fears...get it? No?? Sigh...

2009-01-12T09:33:00.000-05:00

Okay, the title royally fails, but this is the shed that I spent most of the weekend putting up. I was not alone, however, and that is where the real beauty of this little project comes to light:

1. I have an awesome family.
2. I have spectacular friends.

Not only did my Dad and Brother come down to bring this shed/help to assemble it, but my Mother and Grandparents came down as well. On top of that, Dan/Kenda/Ken/Austin all came out and pitched in, too...without my friends, I'm not sure we could've finished it this weekend, but we did. All that's left now is to wire up a light/receptacle in there and it's done. Dan and I will probably take care of that this week after work (beer required).

Overall, I really didn't expect much out of this weekend except some good ol' elbow grease, but I had a lot of fun and was still amazed by the fact that my friends would take so much time out of their weekends to come out and help. I am humbled; I am grateful.

Project 365: 1/8/2008

2009-01-08T10:29:00.000-05:00

This is my youngest cat Addie Jane, or as I like to call her, Addie Pie...make no mistake, she is rotten to the core, and yesterday she was begging for some of my salmon. I try not to feed them from the table because Addie usually won't eat it once she gets a hold of it, and then Danny Boy runs over, wolfs it down, and then throws up. But yesterday she had the most pitiful look on her face, so I folded...and believe it or not, she ate it all.

Project 365 1-6-2009

2009-01-07T09:01:00.000-05:00

So here's a shot of the sunset that I see when I'm lucky enough to get home in time to catch one:

That's my neighbor's tree and other neighbors' homes/sheds in the background...I wasn't so much interested in the sunset as I was the ambience of the entire scene...I never would've imagined I would end up living in such a peaceful neighborhood, much less could I have imagined half of the things I've ended up doing/becoming in these 26+ years.

Project 365 - All Aboard! (1-5-2008)

2009-01-05T11:16:00.000-05:00

Okay, so the "Old Brad" would have chided such things as Project 365 as "Childish" and "Wasteful", but in these last few years I've come to appreciate the many wonderful "little" things in my life, so I thought I would share some photos myself. The goal of Project 365 is to take a picture and post it each day...not only will you have something to photographically represent your days, but also a healthy reminder of lessons learned and a good dose of those "little things" that keep you going. So, without further ado, here's photo 1 (a little late, but better late than never):

This is my desk at work, or as I like to call it, Mission Control. It's not much to look at, but this is probably the most organized you will ever see it. On that desk rests the hopes, dreams, and automation of a whole company (okay, so my boss shoulders a larger part of that load...you get the picture). This is where it all happens...or rather, this is where it's all supposed to happen without a hitch, and yet it doesn't...and that is why your I.T. department exists...to make it work [again].

Let it Go

2008-12-15T13:48:00.000-05:00

One of the oldest sayings in the Book of Life (the one that you apparently have to fill with pages) is the one that goes something like this:

"If you truly love something, let it go...if it is meant to be, the thing you love will come back to you"

I'm not a believer in fate, but those words ring pretty true with me. Well, it's funny...that thought came to mind earlier today when a friend and I were discussing how fucked-up we consider our generation's idea of "love". Stop me if I'm wrong here, but isn't the ideal of love to be 100% trusting of your significant other?

"Brad, you're being too unrealistic."

Fair enough...no one's perfect, but allow me to put this into perspective for you with an example: One of my closest high school friends was a total sap for any girl that said she "loved" him. I once pushed this guy to date a girl who was about 3 years younger than he was, and almost overnight she turned into an ice-cold bitch whenever I came around. Allow me to narrow this perspective for you: This girl was jealous of a 100% straight GUY hanging out with her 100% straight boyfriend...I could at least understand being somewhat jealous of some other good-looking girl...hell, I'd known him longer than she had...we'd known each other since second grade. Well, they ended up getting married (Super memorable because he looked at his feet as he repeated the vows), having two kids, and now they're bitterly divorced and rocketing towards yet more tragic relationships with other morons in the same category.

So help me out folks, I'm trying to understand...are some people so insecure, so petty, and so desperate for attention that they will forbid the one they "love" from seeing anyone besides them?? I'm really trying my hardest to comprehend this...I've only ever once been jealous of a guy when it came down to a girl I was interested in, and it turned out that the girl-in-question was just too rich for my taste, so things didn't work out so badly.

"Well Brad, are you saying you're perfect?"

Negative. I am by no stretch of the word perfect...I consider myself one of the farthest from the term...maybe that's why I'm so critical of my every move (and, to a fault, the moves of others). I'm just dying to know what it is that makes people act like such an ass over something so fleeting.

Here's a fun little exercise: Think about the people you went to high school with, particularly the couples. Did those couples argue all the time and have little jealous spats continually? If you mentally checked "yes", then that's good...now: Are those couples still together? Chances are good that the answer's "no", and if it's "yes", they either grew up or are still in a state of perpetual turmoil.

I suppose my point is this: No one's perfect...and love is about compromise, in many ways...but is everyone just primally driven to throw their most basic freedoms to the wind for a piece of ass or a ride on the pink pony? Does everyone have a switch inside of them that reads "fuck my friends" and flips the switch to the "on" position once they hook up with some lowly douchebag? And if so, am I missing some sliver of genetic code that allows me to "get with the program"? Whatever happened to being someone's best friend, and using that as a basis for love instead of "Oh, so-and-so is hot." Perhaps my hormones just stopped controlling my thoughts sometime after I moved out and realized how difficult life can be on your own...perhaps these same people I rant about are the ones I should be thanking for showing me what I don't want out of life. My motto has always been that I'd rather die alone than to waste any of my life with someone I couldn't stand. All the same, my advice to everyone is this:

No matter how strongly your feelings are for someone...if you can't seem to let them go and live their own lives, and trust them enough to make their own decisions and still come back to you, then please: Let go. You're making an ass of yourself by flaunting your insecurities.

That is all. Thanks for tuning in.

Tome of Hilarity II: The Return

2008-12-01T12:46:00.000-05:00

In the spirit of laughter (can't have slaughter without it), I've brought back an old collection of in-jokes and funny quips that I've collected so far in life...if any of them catch your eye and you want to know, just ask. In the meantime, I'll keep coming back to update it, so be sure to check back every once in awhile...Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you The Tome of Hilarity.

- The Muslim thumbs-up
- I've got a daisy of a hand...
- Allow me to...regale you with...the poetry of my ancestors...
- Skeeball!
- Dude, you're going to Hell!
- Recalcitant Twat
- Dicketry (Jukko)
- Road Flares
- L4D Friendship Test
- You cowards! You fucking cowards!!!!
- You'll be fine...
- C'mon guys, Old Testament...Angry God, VENGEFUL God!!!!
- Hanclosky at IHOP
- The city cries out for a hero...
- I am...*Rolls 20-sided die*...pleased to meet you.
- That [bill] was months ago!
- Huzzah!
- Dead Man's Hand
- SpiderHaven
- He didn't say anything, I was punching him in the face!

MySpace: Official Car Wreck of The Internets

2008-11-26T12:45:00.000-05:00

Just a random thought I had at lunch today while browsing friends' profiles on MySpace...that site is the "Car Wreck" of the internet...no matter how much it disgusts me, I check it every time I happen to pass by. You just can't look away, not matter how superficial or obscene it may be. Teenage girls trying to be porn stars in-the-making, older women hunting younger D ever day, teenage (and older) guys trying to hit on said girls/women, and everyone taking a ridiculous amount of pictures...of themselves.

I'm all for having fun, but how do people afford to get out and drink that much?? Am I just in an extremely lower tax bracket than most people my age?! There must be some MySpace Union that meets secretly and lobbies at bars for lower drink prices/longer hours, and afterward the whole Union meets up at a predetermined destination to party and drink some more. It's a bit ironic, in a way...when I first moved down, there were plenty of opportunities to enjoy yourself...since Mom and Dad were footing the bill. But nowadays I wonder: Have I "grown up" too fast?! I certainly don't feel like I've become an old man, but things like bars and concerts and partying have their place, and I usually only do it once every month or two. In some ways, I feel like I'm missing out, but my bets are hedged on the fact that most people I know are burning up those credit card limits faster than they can drink a 40...and that maybe there's some long-term sense in what I'm doing...or not doing.

There's also this feeling I keep getting that reminds me of a line from The Dark Knight:

"...that when the chips are down, these uh...'civilized people', they'll eat each other."

I don't want to sound overly negative, but if the chips were down, would the majority of these people still be considered "friends"? I would like to think so, but chances are good that when things go awry, it doesn't take much to turn these folks on one another...believe me, I've been on the receiving end of that before. Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't feel that connecting people via the internet makes them that much closer, it's just another way of keeping apace. The circle of friends I have right now is small and pretty close-knit...they're all people I would die for, and anyone outside of that circle is considered an acquaintance...and yet most of these folks on MySpace are giving shout-out's regarding how much they "love their friends, etc.". I guess I'm just old-fashioned, but my theory still stands: To see the best of people, you have to see them at their worst...and believe me, at their worst, most of these MySpace "friends" would cut and run out on many of the people they call "friends". Please feel free to call my 'cynical' at this point, if you'd like...it's a title I gladly wear, not proudly, but at least without shame.

So Carpe Diem, MySpacers...drink up, be merry, live for the moment, and if you have a clue as to what I'm missing, be sure to let me know.

STFU!!!!

2008-11-17T14:21:00.000-05:00

First off, allow me to say that this rant is going to seem quite angry...and in many respects, it is. With that being said, it is still meant as a positive critique for those to whom it may apply (myself included)...so without further ado, this goes out to all the whiners of the world:

If any of the following applies to you, please take note:

1. If your neck/back/stomach hurts all the time, stop whining! Go and see a doctor! Do I look like a fucking chiropractor, or do I seem in any way intent on easing your pain?? Does vocalizing your pain somehow make it go away?? NO! STFU!!!!

2. If you live at home with your parents and still complain about how "overloaded" you are with work and bills, stop whining! Try living on your own and handling all this shit by yourself...no? Don't want to? Well good, you've just earned a new appreciation for how much your folks do for you! Go give them a hug, thank them for all they've done, and then STFU!!!!

3. If you have 8 kids and want to piss and moan about your ever-growing stack of bills, stop whining! You could've held off from those last half-dozen sex sessions, or maybe used protection, but you didn't! Deal with it, pay your dues and STFU!!!!

4. If you live and breathe drama, and yet claim you really hate it so much, do me a favor...stop whining! No one believes you anymore! You love it!! Do you know what a hypocritical turd you look like?! Of course you do, now STFU!!!!

5. Do you like ice cream? Yeah, me too! Let's eat!

6. If you feel as though you get some cathartic release by complaining about anything and everything under the Sun, allow me to help you limp towards a startling realization: By complaining, you change nothing except the volume of your immediate environment! Put a sock in it...never heard that phrase before?! That means STFU!!!!

Okay, so back to normal blood pressure levels...none of this is aimed at anyone in particular, but at some point in my life I've known quite a few people that personify these "qualities". Funny term, "quality". We could probably increase the good qualities around us if we didn't sit on our thumbs, flailing about and screaming like a petulent child at the top of our lungs that life's not fair, or why should so-and-so have the things that we don't...Every one of the items in this list is actually part of a daily checklist that I have to go over in order to maintain a higher standard of quality in my own life. Am I always successful at this endeavor? Hell no, but the point is that we try. Anytime I catch myself complaining about something, I typically try to take it to the "Worst-Case Scenario" level. So just in case we feel any of these might apply to us, try this little exercise:

1. Imagine you are a small child in a war-torn African village. Your mother and father are both dead, your stomach is swelling from starvation, and the only source of sustenance you can find for miles are the mud puddles created by the local warlord's trucks as they careen through your village, raping and pillaging as they go.

2. Imagine you are a small mouse...harmless, furry, cute...you go through life trying to hurt no one, just trying to get by, eat and live somewhere cozy...now imagine that some giant puts their hands on you and throws you into an aquarium with a giant python, who doesn't seem to have a food bowl anywhere around...

3. Imagine you are a soldier, overseas in a land that's hot, arid, and devoid of many things colorful and hopeful. Your job is to take out the trash, and I don't mean sanitation...almost daily, you are faced with life-or-death decisions and put in harm's way so that people back home who have no idea what you go through can complain and whine about all the things that you now have the deepest appreciation for: A cool drink at a water fountain on a sunny afternoon, a walk through the park without having to look for snipers or IED's, the ability to speak out loud without being tortured and murdered in a public place just because the current political regime doesn't agree with you...but no, you're in this sweaty hellhole trying to find some gutless jackass with a long-range rifle who just killed your CO the previous day.

Okay, take a deep breath and come back to reality...not so bad, is it? In all truth, we have it pretty damned nice here in the USA in this day and age. And the beauty of it all is that we're not so powerless as we'd sometimes like to think. Now let's get out there and do great things, and should we feel the need to complain about things that we don't take the responsibility to change, let's all just STFU!!!!

No Mercy

2008-11-05T13:53:00.000-05:00

Words cannot describe how...ummm...unique this is...just another byproduct of web surfing:

Give a Little...

2008-11-03T10:08:00.000-05:00

Well, this weekend was my first official weekend working the cat room at the Lexington PetSmart for Project Pet, and let me say that if you A) Love animals, B) live in the Lexington/Richland Counties area and you C) have some time to spare, then please donate some of your time to Project Pet. It's a fantastic way to actually do something good with your time, and it hardly costs you a thing, besides the time itself. If you don't live around here but still want to help out the little furry ones, please look for local no-kill shelters/organizations in your area. This site should help:

The Animal Rescue Site

You can also Google such terms as "no kill animal shelter" and include your county/state to aid in the search.

Some folks like to donate time to other causes as well...I have some fantastic friends that donate time to such causes as Habitat for Humanity. If you have some extra time and, like me, hate sitting around and doing nothing, please consider helping out with one of these worthy causes. It will most assuredly brighten your day. =)

Your Daily Demotivation

2008-10-31T13:14:00.000-04:00

Always be sure to have these on-hand in your homes, kiddies.

Crazy Magnet

2008-10-31T13:03:00.001-04:00

I think my friends have hit the nail on the head: I am by no means a chick magnet. Rather, I am a crazy magnet. Jon once told me that if you looked back through my dating history, you saw almost a completely straight line of crazy starting with my second year of college. Well, you can't deny logic like that when the record presents itself...everything from daddy issues to nympho's to wealthy brats to just plain weird chicks, it has been one hell of a ride. So anyways, just yesterday (Or was it the day before? Time flies so fast around here...) Evonda coined the phrase "Crazy Magnet"...and so far it has stuck like glue. I know how to pick 'em, I do. Some folks I know keep telling me to go meet one at church, but judging from past experience, that's about as sure a bet as finding a good one out at a bar on Friday night. I suppose the real issue at hand is the fact that while I have met some before who were very good, stable people, I just didn't feel attracted to them...and to me, that basic attraction is a requirement, and not a throwaway bonus. So in closing, I will say to my guy friends: If you need a litmus test to find out whether a girl is completely insane or not, let me meet her and see if I find her undeniably attractive...if I do, then you probably just saved yourself some major headache. It is my gift; it is my curse...I am a Crazy Magnet. ;-p

Old/New

2008-10-29T09:33:00.000-04:00

A friend of mine once noted that they expected me to say something crass or downright offensive when asked about a person that had raised my ire earlier this year..."The old Brad would have done that", I told him. I think it still kind of throws some of my friends for a loop to see how much living on my own has changed me. Some of it is for the better, and some perhaps for the "lame", as some of my peeps have noted. I suppose you'd have to have known me in high school, which was my "social butterfly" period. By the time I reached high school, I had pretty much thrown all my old rules and fears out the window. I was by no means a socialite, but let's just say I had very few inhibitions about what I said or did. It was with this in mind that it still shocks some people when I don't go all Schwarzenegger at the mention of someone who used to piss me off, or who recently stepped on a nerve, or something of the sort...don't get me wrong, I still have a very long memory, but all that energy wasted plotting against/hating on someone is a luxury I can no longer afford.

So on to the central point of this blurb: How has time and experience changed you? Would you say it's for the better? Would you say it's worse for the wear? In my case, I think it calmed a lot of my old angst issues (you try growing up a skinny runt kid in a town full of tall and fat people and see how easy it is to make friends), and helped me to appreciate taking a calm, business-like approach to how I address people, both to their face and not. Living solo has also taught me how to appreciate how busy/fast life becomes the older you get. I used to become upset when friends from way back wouldn't make time to see me or drop in or give me a call, but now I see just how silly that was...every life is an ever-branching tree (or web, depending on your outlook) and you'll never be able to make everyone happy. So how has life changed you? Even if you don't answer directly, just think about the person you used to be, and then the person you are now. Is the "Old" you the same as the "New"?

R.I.P.

2008-10-27T14:15:00.000-04:00

I got some bad news earlier today: My Dad called and said that Z had been killed sometime this morning, and that he had just finished burying him out back. For those of you who may not know, Z.B. (long title El Zorro Blanco) was my cat ever since just before my move out of Gilbert. I got him from a guy I work with (who along with me was convinced that Z was a girl...it's hard to tell on really furry cats until about 10-12 weeks of age...hence, the first name was Zoey Bean) who said that he was probably going to take the cat to a shelter since the mother wanted nothing to do with the little bugger, and since he couldn't keep a cat in the house much longer. I took the little rascal home with me, and shortly afterwards I had moved into my first house.

Napping after his first flea bath in the new home

Z was always a bit rambunctious, so it was very hard to sleep since he wanted nothing more than to play all night...and for you to stay up and "play" with him. Needless to say, Z and I had words as I became more and more sleep-deprived. I eventually sent him to live with my parents because he had proven himself to be a more nocturnal "outside" cat, and my parents had 24 acres on which he could roam freely. Well, he didn't like the outdoors much until recently, and he had begun to roam more. My Dad's guess is that a bobcat might have gotten him. I don't know because I wasn't there, but rest assured that it will be a taxidermist-worthy kill should I find out what it was that killed my boy...no joke.

This is mainly just to say R.I.P. to a cat who was at his core a very loving being, and who is still near and dear to my heart despite all the times he drove me up the wall. I hope that in his life with my folks he found more happiness in the wide-open spaces, and that somewhere "up there", there's a place for his kind soul. I'll miss you, little guy.

Your Daily Demotivation

2008-10-17T08:46:00.000-04:00

If you know me in the least, you know how much I love irony...and will probably fall victim to it horrifically someday. ;)

Under the Hood

2008-10-15T13:08:00.000-04:00

One thought that has been running through my mind since as far back as the year 2000 has been one that I've been unable to find the words for until now. Funny that it's taken this long to bring the words out, considering how common and simplistic they may sound, and yet they hold all the importance in the world to me, especially when pertaining to the decisions we make in our everyday lives.

I'm talking about the crushingly beautiful, yet utterly dangerous power we all possess...the power of choice.

This power is one not to be taken lightly...even the most seemingly small choice can lead to an ever-branching web of consequence. I'm still not even sure how I can fit this concept into a blog, but I'm going to try and condense it for those of you who haven't already fallen asleep at the keyboard.

I liken these choices/the people that make them to the inner/outer workings of a car. When a hole tears in a PCV valve assembly, the mixture of oxygen and gas can become a bit "off", thereby affecting your engine's overall performance and decreasing your gas mileage...if the problem is not addressed quickly and efficiently, this can lead to several other problems later down the road (I now see the bad pun here). Somewhat similarly, when a person's heart is broken and they let that pain influence their decisions, those decisions can lead the person down a whole series of differently-branching pathway in life...the path may not be a "bad" path to take, it may end up being a very positive learning experience. On the other hand, it could be a self-destructive path, beaten towards madness. I don't say this to frighten anyone, but rather to empower anyone who may not have seen life this way before.

It took nearly eighteen years of my life passing obliviously until I finally grasped what true power I possessed. I could make a conscious choice to become a banker and live an affluent lifestyle filled with frugal/frivolous spending, a pretty trophy wife, and maybe some kids to carry on spending my money after I'm dust. I could also make a conscious choice to become a professional thief and devote myself to a craft that consists entirely off of living through ill-gotten gains. I'm not joking here, people...I know in some ways it sounds like a kid's book: "You can be anything you want to be!", but the central point is that we have a profound responsibility (and thereby, accountability) inherent to the choices we make throughout our daily lives. Some of you may still be slapping your head and saying "Duh, Brad. This is old news." But that leads to the second part of this rant: Fate.

Does a greater power determine our destiny for us? I used to think of the idea as comforting, to know that God/Allah/Buddha/Amon/whoever you chose to worship would pluck a destiny from the heavens and lay it at your feet. After much more intricate thought, I began to think that a fair and merciful deity wouldn't let someone live a seemingly complete, fulfilling life only to have that life cut short by a runaway bus while crossing the street. I suppose a lesson could be taken from an end like that, such as looking both ways before crossing the street (something I learned a valuable lesson on during my fourth year of college, ask if you want to know). No one reading this can deny that the life we are given is precious and sometimes all too fleeting, but shouldn't we also live empowered by the responsibility of our own actions, a powerful life?

By now I'm almost certain that I sound like a self-help book-on-tape, so let me get right to the point: Do you believe that our fates are controlled by a grand puppeteer, pulling strings that we have no hope of resisting during our daily zombie walks? Or do you perhaps believe as I do, that God (or whichever deity you choose) has empowered us with one of the greatest gifts ever conceived, and that we have a responsibility as decent human beings to make the best choice possible for those we love and ourselves as well? Too often I see people who walk around as though life is a dream (and believe me, it is a beautiful thing) and they have no control over where it takes them. I suppose that's nice in some ways (takes the sting out of bad decision-making, for one), but if you feel as I feel on this matter, could you really choose to maintain an oblivious stupor knowing what you now know?

If you take nothing else from this rant of mine, consider this: You have more power than you can imagine. It is beautiful, it is dangerous, and it's there even if you try to deny it: Choice. It requires great accountability, but if harnessed it can make the difference between life or living death. The next time you sit down to reflect on your life, take a look under the hood and see how completely complex and powerful you really are.

"I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use."
-Galileo Galilei-

Back up in ya with tha resurrection...

2008-10-14T11:23:00.000-04:00

...I haven't posted here in awhile, so I cleaned out all the old posts and decided to start fresh. For anyone new to my blog, welcome! I usually try to post something witty/funny/reflective here, and sometimes I succeed in doing so. ;-)

I'm going to try and post a weekly blog starting soon, so keep checking back...oh, and thanks for taking a peek!

It's a beautiful day, and we're out killing drug dealers...

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**FACEPALM**: City of Wellford

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Back up in ya with tha resurrection...

FACEPALM: City of Wellford