The Will

This is just a collection of thoughts that I wanted to write down, so if you're reading this and starting to worry...don't.  I just wanted to get these thoughts out there, writing can be quite cathartic.  Call it "Creative Release", if you'd like.



Do you know why I come to you today, World?

I am just one young man, and although Hope still lives on in my soul, I am finally realizing my own limitations.  I have tried for years to maintain connections, do good works, and ensure that others enjoy their lives. 

That time is over. 

I have realized more now than ever that the only sure-fire recipe is the recipe for failure...to try and please everyone.  For over two decades now I've tried to be everyone's friend, everyone's confidant; everyone's most trusted adviser.  No more.  My life has been spent giving much in the name of scarce returns; I'm ready to start reaping for myself.

This decision does not come lightly, as I imagine many of you out there will probably come to be against me in the long run.  This is not something new to me...my life, like many others', has known plenty of betrayals.  For years, these betrayals were viewed in black-and-white terms.  What I failed to see is the truth conveyed in betrayal, the proof of who your real friends are.  If you are still there for me, then know that my love, loyalty and respect for you are tenfold.

I have loved you all at some point or another, even if only from afar.  My greatest dream was to serve others and live well, but I now realize that as one man I can not have it all; as my life passes me by I have missed out on entirely too much.  Sacrifices will have to be made in the name of progress, and the death of an Innocent's dream will be hard to swallow, but such is the price for living life to its fullest extent.

So to you, World, I say thanks for the good times...and I pray that for each of us there are even more good times ahead, but this will be the last time many of you will hear from me.  No, I'm not dead; if you want it enough, you can get in touch with me.  Just know that as this new chapter in Life opens, I approach it with a sense of hope for each of us...may we grow and love together; if not, I wish you all the best.

God grant me strength now, as I move forward in time to take hold of that which has eluded me for years...

**FACEPALM**: City of Wellford

Chris Cato interviews Wellford Mayor Sallie Peake

'Nuff said.

Well, maybe not quite enough.  I present to you the Sheriff presiding over Wellford, Sheriff Gonna Getcha:

Embarrassing

So apparently Barack Obama has won the Nobel Peace Prize...for things he has yet to accomplish.  Normally I don't care to harp on about Obama too much, but this is...too much.  How can someone win such a prestigious award for something they haven't even done?  I know that a person's image counts for a lot in this world, but isn't America (and the rest of the world, for that matter) at least slightly awake to the fact that for his first year in office, Obama has accomplished pretty much nothing?  Sure he's put on a good show of it, but this is insane...therefore, I am officially throwing my hat in the race for the next Nobel Peace Prize for things someone has yet to do...my category will be Dragon-Slaying.  Hopefully I will be running against such respectful candidates as Al Gore, who might stop global warming. Perhaps Jimmy Carter, who might have been useful in some form of negotiation at some time, should run again?

You know what?  Fuck the Nobel Peace Prize...history speaks for itself.

Greatest Songs Ever: (Segue) Helpless

In the months (and hopefully years) to come, I'd like to share with you all some of my all-time favorite songs.  Anyone who knows me well knows that I have always loved music...sometimes to an unhealthy degree.  This week's song is "(Segue) Helpless" by Buckcherry.  Even if you're not a fan of their songs involving cocaine and blowjobs, you have to appreciate the heartfelt quality of this song.  It's a song about loneliness and the will to carry on and keep seeking something better. 

Fell out of love this time again
Can't stand one more fight, I'm too tired and crazy
I know someday I will be strong again
Forget what they're sayin', to the Heartbreak Station I'm gone

If this song speaks to anyone, it speaks to those who've spent long periods of time unattached to any specific person.  Singularity can be a gift and a curse, as those around you who have someone are always trying to set you on the same path as them, or ridicule you for not being on said path.  I used to play this one over the sound system after-hours at the restaurant where I worked during my first year of college.  It was a good wind-down song, and yet the energetic way in which the narrator pushes on always gave me a bit of a boost. 

Video Games: Enemy or Antidote?

My e-buddy Kat has inspired me to do a little writing on the topic of something that's been very dear to me since a tender young age: Video Games. Some of you who know me are probably rolling your eyes right about now, but this is meant to be at the very least a semi-serious discussion on the topic. So, without further ado...

Games were very important to me at a young age, though it took almost 20 years for me to realize why they were so crucial. I realized when moving out of my hometown that video games helped open my eyes to a perspective beyond the horizons of small-town life. Don't get me wrong, I love my upbringing, and for the most part I wouldn't change it for the world. Living simply taught me how to appreciate life in all its vastness, from the smallest miracles to the greatest wonders. For me, games were a springboard to possibilities far beyond the world I knew. Many people I grew up around never left that town; most of them settled for a wife/kids/monotonous job. By no means do I look down on this, as everyone finds their definition of "Happiness" to be a bit different. Games helped my imagination to grow...my mind was opened to vast horizons beyond A-town, and thus, I was addicted to them. As a matter of fact, my parents took them away from me so that I would go outside more. This helped to bring balance to my real and virtual lives, and would prove beneficial later on down the road.

As I left my little town to enter the Wide World of College, at first I found myself strangely detached from gaming. The last systems I had owned before leaving town were a Dreamcast (sigh) and a PS2 (the original hefty console of its generation). Moving out, I decided not to take these relics with me, but a friend of mine suggested I try playing the new system he had just purchased...it was called an "Xbox", and the first game he bought with the console was a shooter called "Halo: Combat Evolved". Needless to say, after one co-op playthrough I was hooked. Many nights' studies began to take a backseat to crushing The Covenant, and eventually, the Flood itself. Friends would drop by for 4-player splitscreen matches (which I was a bit well-trained for by then) and we would have a blast discussing crucial moments in our couch-based melee'. One of the best Multiplayer moments was splitting screens with Nate and Won at the old 605 apartment downtown, playing Medal of Honor: Rising Sun and using only 1-shot silenced pistols on a map comprised of a baseball field with tunnels dug out underneath. Pfft!

Eventually I finished college (5-years for a 4-year degree, FTW), and here I am today: Doing a job I never expected/planned for and loving it, owning a house/car/motorcycle, paying bills like a regular joe, and still feeding my gaming habits when the finances allow. My last big expense was Batman: Arkham Asylum, which effectively ate about 12 hours out of one weekend (a testament to its awesomeness). The point of all this?? Oh, right...the point: I honestly don't think I would be where I am today without the boost to my imagination provided by video games. Books were a large part of my learning processes growing up, but video games painted vivid imagery that fed my mind even further. Not only that, but they taught me to never give up, even when it turned out my Princess was in another castle. They can be addictive, and make no mistake, you need to go outside and make friends and enjoy the many other facets of life...they can be your productivity levels' worst enemy, or they can be the antidote to monotony. If you don't believe they can be a good medium for entertainment and productivity, check them out for yourself.

Slim Chance, Big Reward

Geek Moment: I sold my PS3 Fatty this weekend to Big Kev and Marcy, and used the proceeds to get a PS3 Slim. Honestly, I couldn't be more happy with my little low-noise, lower-power machine. It's small enough to finally fit underneath my entertainment center with the 360, so I'll finally be able to clear all the extra shit off of the top of my measly tabletop center, except of course the TV/center channel speaker. I love my new slim, it's so quiet whilst playing Arkham Asylum, which helps since I want to hear the game's atmospheric audio and not the sound of the disc spinning in the drive. Now to get that 40" LCDTV to play it on, because 32" is so 2006.

Main Title

I suppose for some, I should elaborate on where this blog's title came from. If you know me, you know I'm a fan of old Schwarzenegger movies...not a fan of the man himself, but the attitude his movies exuded during the 80's and 90's. One of my favorites (for its comedic bent, actually) is Last Action Hero. Included here is the clip from which the world famous line originated (you may need to go full-screen to get the full effect):

iLate

I'm a bit late to the party when it comes to the absolute freshest tech (usually it's too expensive for me to take the plunge), but in about a month I'll finally be getting an iPhone! Thank you, tech-requisite job position! Don't be jealous, people...well, okay...you can be just a little jealous. I would be jealous, too. :-)

A pre-emptive and heartfelt farewell goes out to my Samsung Rugby...you've been a great companion, but you have no Magic 8-Ball app. You will still have a place in my heart (and in my desk drawer, top right).